When the Insane Become Ninjas!
by Nacarat Epos Seville
Summary: What happens when three insane girls are sent flying into the Naruto world? That's easy annoyance, retardedness and mass chaos! May contain slight Sasuke and Sakura bashing. NO OC PAIRINGS! If you don't understand it's probably becuase your sane/HIATUS/
1. A Crash a Bang and Chocolate Milk

How ya'll doin? This is my first fic so please be nice! All flames will be used to make cheese toast... Mmmm cheeeeeeesee...

Anyway let's get this show on the road!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto, if I did... well let's just say it would involve an elephant, a guitar and a cheese string!

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It All Started With a Crash, a Bang and a Glass of Chocolate Milk

"Sapp open the door! It's me! I'm here" said a girl 13 years old with shoulder length black-brownish hair and brown eyes as she pounded on the door of her friend's house.

"Coming!" she heard as the door opened to reveal her mid-back length brownish-blondish friend with her hair tied back in her usual ponytail.

"Cat! You're finally here! Even Apollo got here before you!" Sapp said. "Yo!" was heard from the kitchen where Apollo more than likely was.

"Yeah well, it took me a while to pack" Cat said as she put her bag down on the floor. "I still can't believe _your_ parents are letting you have a sleepover without them there."

"Yep" said Sapp nodding with a smile on her face "and no annoying younger siblings either." Cat smirked at this comment.

"Uh oh, I don't like that look what are you planning Cat?" said a 12-year-old girl with short brown hair that only went a little below her ears, as she came to join her friends.

"Welllllll I happen to have this baby!" Cat said as she pulled out the boxed set of Naruto DVDs. "And it's the original Japanese version with English sub!" she cheered as she jumped up and down.

"And that means what exactly?" asked Sapp. "It means, that it's the original extra bloody, extra dramatic version that's what it means. Well, at least it is compared to the 4KidsTV 'kiddiefied' version they put on national television, to show it's horror to the world!" Cat exclaimed.

"Sweet, now Sapp will finally understand what we're talking about! Believe it!" Apollo said. "Sure why not?" Sapp said "but what kind of name is Naruto?"

"Le GASP! Do not make a mockery of my anime!" Cat said while repeatedly poking Sapp in the arm. "Ow, okay I won't!"

"Sigh you're hyper aren't you?" Apollo asked. Cat just responded with a big grin "Maybeeeeeee. Come on guys let's get this party started!" Cat cheered as she dragged her friends into the house.

Later that night - 10:00 P.M.

"Can we watch it now? Please, please pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?" whined Cat. "Sapp just let her watch so she'll calm down." Apollo sighed. "Kay. Give me the DVD" Sapp said as she took the DVDs from her friend's hyper hands. Sapp put the DVD in while Cat made popcorn and Apollo poured drinks.

The three girls assembled on the couch. The TV screen turned blue. Then they heard a voice. "Do you believe in wishing? Do you wish for something? Do you wish that your wishes will come true? And what if they could come true? Would you be happy?"

"What the HECK? Where's my Naruto?" Cat said as she got up to go to the DVD player. Instead she tripped over her friend Sapp's legs and hit her head on the coffee table. "OW!" Cat cried as she clutched her head while her friends laughed at her. "Sorry" Sapp choked out between laughs. "Whatever" Cat said as she brushed herself off and went up to the DVD player. "How do you work this thing?"

"Here let me see" Sapp said as she joined her friend at the DVD player knocking over a glass of chocolate milk onto the DVD player. "No what have you done!" Cat said as the DVD player started buzzing. "My mom's gonna kill me" said Sapp as she paled.

"What did you guys do?" Apollo said when she joined her panicking friends on the floor. Then they heard a voice from the TV again. "May all your wishes come true." Then there was a flashing of lights and after total darkness.

"Well this is freaky" Cat said "Sapp? Apollo? Where are you?" she called but all she heard was an echo. "I don't remember this room being that big…." Cat said nervously. But before she could do anything she felt air rushing up beside her. Cat looked down to see a big puffy white thing, as she fell through it. She looked back up, and realized it was a _cloud _she was falling from the _sky_!

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Cat screamed as she continued to plummet "I'm gonna die!"

"No I haven't done everything I wanna do yet!" she heard someone yell from above, she looked up to see Apollo falling as well and Sapp a little farther in the distance. Happy to see her friends again Cat said the first thing that came to her mind. "Hiiiiiiiiiii guys!" she yelled up waving. Just then she felt something hard hit her back. She looked to her side to see a branch. 'Oh snap trees! Why have you betrayed me trees? WHY?' she thought.

Meanwhile back up in the sky….

"Hiiiiiiiiiii guys!" Apollo heard. She looked down to see Cat disappearing into some trees. "If I die I blame Cat for all my unhappiness" Apollo muttered. "Hey Apollo look we're flying!" Apollo looked up to see Sapp. "I blame her too…"

Back with Cat…

"Ow, ow , ow ,ow ,ow, ow, OW!" Cat cried as she hit each tree branch, then landing on the ground. "I'm alive?" Cat said with her eyes squeezed shut. "I'M ALIVE! WHOOHOO!" Cat shouted as she started doing a little victory dance. "Hah! How do you like me now tree you thought you could get the better of me huh but no one gets the better of Cat no on-" but Cat was cut off by Apollo landing on her.

"Wow, thanks for breaking my fall Cat I didn't know you were such a pal!" Apollo said. "No problem" Cat said with sarcasm "NOW GET OFF ME!"

"WATCH OUT BELOW!" and Sapp landed on top of Apollo and Cat. "Ow" said Apollo, "You have no idea how uncomfortable this is" Cat said. "Huh? OH! SORRY GUYS!" Sapp said as she got off them.

"Ow" Cat whined rolling around on the ground as Apollo and Sapp got off her. "Where are we?" Apollo asked. Cat looked up "Hey, this ain't Kansas!" "We weren't in Kansas" Apollo said. "We weren't?" Cat said sitting up. "Uh, no you were at my house" Sapp said. "Oh, right…"

"Hey who are you?" someone said from behind them. The girls turned around to see…..

(Should I end now? Nah….)

….. a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed, orange-jumpsuit-wearing boy.

"Hey you're that kid from the front of Cat's DVD-mmmf!" Sapp said as Cat put a hand on her mouth. "We're travelers" Cat said smiling happily. Apollo gave Cat a look, and Cat mouthed to "her play along".

"You're travelers? Well that explain why you're clothes are so funny… but didn't you guys just fall from the sky?" Naruto asked.

"What makes you say that?" Apollo asked nervously. "Well I was just hiding- I mean laying out on that hill over there when I saw you three fall from no where." Naruto said.

"It's true, because that's where our village is" Cat said nodding. "Where?" Naruto asked. Cat just pointed up at the sky. "Y-YOU'RE FROM HEAVEN? YOU MEAN YOU'RE LIKE ANGELS OR DEAD PEOPLE OR SOMETHING?" Naruto shouted panicking.

"No, baka!" Cat said hitting him on the head. "We come from the Village Hidden in the- uh, um SKY! Yeah we're from the Village Hidden in the Sky!"

"There's a village in the sky?" Sapp asked in awe. "Yesssss" Cat said stepping on her foot, making Sapp jump around holding her foot. "Wait a minute! How come I've never heard of this village?" Naruto said suspiciously. Cat smirked and looked at Apollo, who smirked back. Then they both looked at a confused Naruto.

"In a queer little village…" Cat started.

"…where up is down…" Apollo continued.

"…cats chase dogs.." Cat said.

"…soap operas are funny…" said Apollo.

"….and cheese has no relation to yogurt in anyway…"

"… there are children…"

"… children WHO FELL FROM THE SKY!" The both of them finished.

"Huh?" Naruto said. "CUZ IT'S WOOD!" Sapp said scaring Naruto from behind. "RUN AWAY!" Cat yelped grabbing her friend's arms and running off leaving only a very confused Naruto and a trail of dust behind….

"Weirdoes…" Naruto said turning and walking off.

Cat kept running until she could see the big wooden doors known as the Konoha entrance. "Okay girls" Cat said stopping and turning to them "when we get to the guards follow my lead, okay?" Apollo nodded "What are you gonna do?" Sapp asked. Cat smirked, "you'll see."

The three girls approached the gates of the village. "Halt who goes there?" asked a guard. (Wait, do the guards say that? Oh, well they will in my story!) "M-my mommy" Cat started to sob out putting on her cute voice. "s-she sent us to the village to get her m-medicine, but we're lost!" Cat was full fledged sobbing on the ground now. "W-what sniff are sniffle gonna do? sob." Cat winked at Apollo and Sapp to tell them to play along. Sapp then burst out crying, while Apollo put on a scared lost puppy look.

"Er, well what village do you need to go to?" one guard asked looking at the other. "K-K-Konoha" Cat said wiping her tears. "Well this is Konoha, right here" said the guard. "Really?" Sapp sobbed. "Yes, uh would you like to go in?" the guard asked. The only he response got was Cat holding her hands together with big teary puppy eyes and a hopeful expression. "Right" the guard said with a sweatdrop " I'll open the gates…"

"T-thank you mister!" Cat cried as her and her friends walked through the gates. "We'll never forget you! You are a true humanitarian!" She continued crying her fake tears of joy, until they were in the village.

"Sucker…."

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How was that? Good? Yes? No? You tell me! One rate or review and I'll post as soon as possible! Mmk?

Peace Out!

Neko


	2. And the Good Times Keep Coming

Chapter 2 Woot!! Dance dance party! starts break dancing in background Is this story crazy enough? Honestly I don't think it is...

Anyway this story is technically based on real life...

NO! I haven't been to Konoha! Apollo, Sapp and Me we really are hyper and crazy! They help me come up with some of these crazy ideas! Anyway!

Disclaimer: I DON'T own Naruto, but I wish I did... oh how I wish I did...

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Chapter 2: And the Good Times Just Keep on Coming

"Aw Cat don't cry!" Sapp said as she smiled cheerfully.

"Sapp I was just acting so the guard would let us in"

"It's okay! Have a tissue!" Sapp said as she waved the white cloth-like object in her face.

"Sapp how many times do I have to say I WAS ONLY ACTING!" Cat said chasing her around while Sapp just grinned and skipped away. The trio of awesome craziness continued on their antics as they reached a big circular area filled with busy people and a fountain in the middle.

"Wow this place is in the shape of a circle!" Sapp said as she spun in circles and skipped around like the hyper child she was, for the moment anyway. "I think this is the town square. But why do they call it the town square if it's a circle?" Cat said looking around. "Seems more like an oval to me" Apollo said. "Really I think it might just be a pentagon" Cat said scratching her head.

"It looks like a bunny if you squint your eyes and tilt your head to the left" Sapp said joining her friends from behind. "Really?" Cat said as they both tilted their heads to the left and squinting trying to make out a rabbit shaped area. While Apollo just shook her head and sighed looking at her friends, probably wondering how she got stuck with such psychos.

"Calm down you two. Don't you realize the situation we're in?" Apollo the level-headed one finally said. "She's right; therefore we must have a meeting! WOOD WOOD NINJAS UNITE!" Cat declared jumping up on the town fountain's edge and scaring any and all sane persons in the area. In other words freaking out all the people in the town square and making them look at them like they we're all short a few acorns.

"Right so we need an action plan! And I have the perfect plan!" Cat said only to be cut off by a large growl from Sapp's stomach. "Can we start with getting something to eat?" Sapp said sheepishly. "Riiiiiiight" Apollo said. "Oh! I know the perfect place to eat follow me!!" Cat said.

18 Minutes later after Cat admitted she had no idea where she was going and they asked for directions

"TADAH! The ramen store!" Cat exclaimed for the whole world as she introduced her friends whole heartedly to the best ramen store EVER! Ichiraku Ramen!

"Hey I've seen this place before! Isn't this where he e-" Apollo started

"Yes" Cat interrupted smirking.

"Um Miss? How much is it for 1 bowl of ramen?" Cat called out. "Hm? Oh that would be 500 yen " the waitress said smiling happily. "What's yen?" Sapp asked. "It's the currency here, and we don't have any" Apollo stated. "Unfortunately Apollo's right. We're going to need money so we can eat, get a place to stay and buy stuff" Cat grumbled. "Well where do we find this yen?" Sapp asked. "Jobs. So let's split up and meet back her in an hour or so" Cat stated. And so the three girls went to go look for jobs.

Later roughly 8:00pm

"Okay so far we've been refused work…. why again?" Cat said as she and her friends now laid on a big grassy hill.

"Because we're too short"

"We're too young"

"We're girls"

"Some guy said I wasn't strong enough"

"Too skinny"

"Have no skills whatsoever"

"And one freaky guy said I didn't look tasty enough" Sapp finished

"Uh huh. Well I guess…." Cat started. "Oh no she has a plan. Nothing good shall come of this" Apollo said. "Ha ha. As I was saying, since there are no other jobs we could try doing what Konoha does best"

"What's that?" Sapp asked. "We'll be NINJAS!" Cat cheered jumping up and down.

"I was afraid of this" Apollo said.

"But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? It'll be fun!" Cat whined.

"It does sound fun" Sapp said.

"First of all to be a ninja you have to have stealth, speed, strength, accuracy, crazy mad skillz, and of course logic. We have none of these things, except logic" Apollo said.

"And our logic isn't all that great either" said Cat scratching her head.

"Yeah, I think I may have fractured mine…" Sapp said.

"Right so let's get some sleep now so we can head to the school tomorrow" Cat said. "You really just want to go so you can see all our favourite characters" Apollo said

"Maaaaaaaaybeeeeeeeee. But you want to see them too and you cannot deny!"

"True but Naruto didn't have his headband yet right? So the testing must be coming up soon because that's when the first episode started"

"YATTA! (Cat: yeah in Japanese) That means I'll get to see Sasuke and Naruto during my favourite scene!!" Cat cheered.

"Which- Oh, THAT scene" Apollo said not looking at all amused.

"What scene?" Sapp asked. "Oh you'll see, and when I get it all on camera I'm gonna blackmail them both back to the first grade" Cat said cackling evilly while rubbing a camera in her hands. "Cat where did you get that camera?" Apollo asked. "I dunno it was just there. Well anyway it's off to sleep!" Cat declared as she lay down on the grass.

"Wait, you mean sleep, as in here?" Apollo said

"Yes"

"As in the cold hard ground" Apollo stated unhappily.

"Yes, we don't have anywhere else to go and besides it's perfect weather!"

And as if on cue the thunder started and the rain came down.

"I hate you Apollo" a soaking wet Cat said.

"Whatever did I do?" Apollo answered an evil smile upon her lips.

"Hey guys I think I can see a place for us to stay" Sapp pointing off to the distance.

The Next Bright Sunny Morning at Konoha School

"Today class we shall resume our shuriken practice" said Iruka-sensei to his students, "Just aim for the bulls eye on the tree" he said as he pointed to the tree on the far side of the training ground.

"AH! Sensei there's something in the tree!" Sakura pointed out being the perceptive goody-two-shoes-pink-haired-brat-big-forheaded-little-- (Apollo: Cat the story. Cat: Oh right sorry) And sure enough dangling from off a branch was an arm…. Not disembodied mind you, just hanging down.

"You're right! Students stay here, I'll check it out" Iruka-sensei said. But Naruto being the genius orange-jumpsuit wearing kid he is went straight up to the tree. "Relax Sakura-chan I'll get it out!" Naruto declared as he gave the tree one big kick. And three limp bodies fell to the ground.

"ARE THEY DEAD?" "ZOMBIES!!"  
"CORPSES!"

And at that moment one of the "zombies" sat up. "Who dares wake me from my slumber??!!" The girl boomed. "For they shall face the wrath of CAT" she said standing up.

"Hn. I doubt you could harm anyone. What can three little girls so to a group of ninjas?" A certain Uchiha student said.

SNAP! In a flash another was standing. Her face shrouded in darkness and fire and lightening sound effects were going off in the background. "WHAT DID YOU SAY???!!!" Apollo boomed.

"Oooooh! You said the LG word. I don't want to stand near you, heck I'm not even going to look at you" Cat said "And I'm not even coming to your funeral!" she said as she scurried behind the tree.

"Now, now there's no reason for fighting" Iruka-sensei said. "That's right I'd hate to kill you in front of your little fans" Apollo taunted, while grimacing at the crowd of angry Sasuke-fan-girls. "Hn. Take your wimpy little friends and leave" Sasuke responded.

Cat was in his face in a flash. "YOU. DID. NOT. JUST CALL ME WIMPY!!! HUH punk?" Cat said shaking him by his collar.

"Please put him down" Iruka-sensei said trying to calm everyone down. Cat let go. "You're lucky you have your teacher here to save you, you emo-punk-vengence-obsessed-brat " Cat spat.

"Sometimes I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of….. Cat when she's hyper….or Cat when she's mad" Apollo stated. "Uhhhhhhhhggg what happened? That was some sleepover last night" Sapp said groggily as she sat up. "Whoa this isn't my living room" she said looking around slowly.

"Is she okay?" Sakura asked. "Oh she's fine! She always acts drunk when she wakes up" Cat said. "But that's not why we're here! We're here because---"

"I KNOW YOU!" Naruto said cutting her off. "You're those weirdoes from that Village Hidden in the Sky!"

"Naruto there is no Village Hidden in the Sky" Sasuke said.

"That's what you think and that's also why you're just some emo-punk-goth kid" Apollo said. "That thinks he's so great and everyone's worthless"

"ANYWAY! As I was saying we're here to enlist at the school!" Cat said turning to Iruka-sensei. "You slept in a tree so you could enlist here?" Iruka-sensei asked. "What? Of course not, we did because we're hobo children"

"Cat don't tell him the same story you told that vender in the village" Apollo said.

"FINE! Anyway we are the three Wood Wood Ninjas from the Village Hidden in the Sky! I am Tac this is Pass" she said pointing to Sapp, "and of course Opolla" Cat said.

"Never again" Apollo said.

"AND WE'RE GOING TO BE NINJAS HERE! BELIEVE IT!" Cat said punching the air.

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Cat: I told you there would be Sasuke and Sakura bashing but... that might not change... so yeah, Apollo REALLY doesn't like them... All those who oppose take it up with Apollo!

Apollo: Those who oppose shall face the consequences...

Cat: Apollo it's the internet and freedom of speech!

Good enough? R&R! I'll update as soon as I can!

Neko


	3. Shopping and the Wallet

Cat: I've been told by an anonymous reviewer that Apollo and Sapp sound Mary-Sueish, well to tell you the truth I don't think of myself as a Mary-Sue writer... but that's not the point, there's a story behind Sapp's name because it started as an inside joke.

You see my friend didn't know what her name should be, so my other friend (Apollo) came up for a name for her, it was S.A.P.P. an acronym (that spelt right?) and it stands for Super Annoying Preppy Person. I know that's mean but hey WE liked it. It did offend her but we don't use it as an acronym anymore.

Anyway there probably won't be any pairings because this story was made to be funny and what **we** would actually do if that happened so...

Disclaimer: I **don't **own Naruto... unfortunately

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Chapter 3: Shopping and the Wallet

"So you wish to be ninjas here?" The Hokage asked as he turned to face the girls in his office. "Mmhmm" Cat said as she nodded. Iruka-sensei took them to see the Hokage and get registered after he somehow managed to break up the fight…..

"Well then I need you to fill out these forms and we'll have to sort out finding a place for you to stay. Are you girls with your parents?" The Hokage asked as he handed them their forms. "Nope" Sapp said as she scanned the paper, "What is this exactly?" she asked. "It's a simple application form to become citizens of Konoha, the basic names, ages and birth dates" The Hokage answered smiling slightly.

"Okay well we'll go fill these out over there…" Cat said as the girls went over to a desk on the other side of the room. "Very well I will search my records for a place for you girls to stay"

With the Girls...

"Name? Sapp La Vache Cha Cha Cha Salad. Blood? Red. D.O.B? Apollo what's DOB?" Sapp asked as she filled her form in. "It's your date of birth" Apollo said simply while she continued to fill in her form. "Oh that's easy! Wait, if they don't have the same money or jobs then how do I know for sure that they have the same months?" Sapp said chewing on the end of the pen.

"Just make one up Sapp, if they ask we'll say we have different months in the 'Village Hidden in the Sky'" Cat snickered. "Cat? What did _you_ write?" Apollo asked slightly concerned. "Nothing.." Cat said cackling evilly. "Okay so my birthday will be on Chicken-turkuary 45th" Sapp said smiling happily, and seeming quite pleased with her work. "Right you do that…" Apollo said together sweat-drops forming on the back of their heads while Cat tried not to laugh.

"Alright girls everything seems in order… What month is Chicken-turkuary?" The girls burst out laughing, it was funny enough that Sapp named her birth month after meat but hearing a highly respected person like the Hokage say it was too much for them. Besides he pronounced it TURKU- ary! If you don't find that funny, well it might just be because your sane….

The Hokage obviously not understanding what he said gave them a map and a key. "I managed to find you girls an apartment that you can stay, it's been circled on the map for you" he said still confused.

"Th-thank you! H-hokage-sama! B-but what about r-rent?" Cat asked trying to calm down. "Do not worry your expenses have been covered for this month. The exams to become ninjas are coming up, if you pass then you can make your money that way. If not you will have to find other jobs." He answered. "Yes sir!" Sapp said saluting him as they left the office.

"So let's find this apartment shall we?" Cat said reaching for the map. "NOWAY! _I'm_ leading the way because you have no sense of direction what so ever! Besides you can't even read maps!" Apollo said holding the map out of her reach. "WHAT-no! I can find it!" Cat protested trying to get the map. "Let's face it Cat _I_ have a better sense of direction than you!" Sapp said. "Are you admitting that you're stupid?" said Cat as she stopped to look at Sapp with raised eyebrows. "No! Wait-yes? Maybe? Uh? I'm confused?" Sapp said. "It's okay, we all have those days" Apollo said as she patted Sapp on the head, "Now, the apartment is this way…"

"Coooooool" Sapp said looking around. The apartment had a fairly small kitchen, a big enough living room, three bedrooms and ONE bathroom. "Well that's gonna cause some problems…" said Cat as she looked at Apollo. Apollo ran to one of the bedrooms "MINE! Called it!" she declared.

"WHAT?! That's not fair! I didn't even get to see i-" Cat stopped as she looked inside the room was a good size but the thing that Cat didn't like was the window. It was small, practically the size of a shoe box. There was barely any light coming in. "Uh Apollo? It's dark in here" Cat said the whole room looking gloomy. "I know I can't wait to furnish the place!" Apollo said cackling evilly.

All three rooms were roughly the same size, with one twin bed and small desk. In the end Cat and Sapp's rooms were pretty much identical. Their windows were the proper size, it seemed like only Apollo's room was messed but she liked it so there was no problem. They had some basic furniture in the house like a couch and fridge, but that was it.

"We're going to have to get jobs aren't we?" Sapp asked as the girls looked around their empty home. "Nope we can probably raid the garbage dump for stuff and fix it up… if they have a dump" Cat said. "We can do that for expensive things like tables, but for clothes and decorations we can buy that _ourselves_" Apollo said smirking.

"But we don't have any money-yen-stuff!" Sapp cried.

"Oh yes we do" Apollo then pulled out a black wallet.

"Where did yo- Apollo! You DIDN'T!" Cat exclaimed.

"Did what?" Sapp asked. Cat pointed to the other side of the wallet where sown into the fabric was the red and white Uchiha fan symbol. You stole Sasuke's wallet?!" shouted Cat. "Oh so that's what it means!" Sapp said finally understanding.

"What does it matter? You don't like him either!" Apollo said back.

"You're right! Let's go! MALL AWAY!" cheered Cat as she grabbed her friends and they left to go shopping.

Later at 10:30 pm….

"That was fun!" Sapp said as her and her friends laid collapsed on the middle of their once empty living room. Surrounding them were bags and bags! All three girls had bought clothes, rugs, curtains, sheets and stuff to decorate their rooms. But the most important thing they had bought was…a TV! Well that and food, but…

"How rich is that Uchiha kid?!! Man! How much is left?" Cat asked. Her and her friends were starting to understand the currency here and the store employees had kindly given them their change, which helped them learn. "Let's see he's got about 15 bucks left" Apollo said counting off the money.

"Well we should give it back to him…" Sapp said. "NAH!" The three said "Besides if we do he'll know we stole it!" said Cat. "Yeah but it would be worth it to see the look on his face when he realized that three wimpy girls _stole_ from _him_!" Apollo snickered.

Just then there was a knock at the door. "Come in" Sapp called seeing as none of them planned on getting up soon. Who else would it be at the door other than…..

a) Sasuke

b) Naruto

c) The Hokage

d) Iruka-sensei

e) Someone random you haven't met yet?

Weeeeeeeeell if you picked d) then you are correct! Iruka-sensei peered around the door. "Ah! There you girls are! I was going to call you but you don't have a phone yet do you?" (Cat: Do they have phones in Naruto? Ah well if Apollocan steal from Sasuke, they have to have phones!) "Anyway! I just came to tell you that you'll be joining my class! I expect you girls to be there by 8:00 am to Room #201. Oh! I'll have to find out how much you girls already know, so how about you come at 7:30 instead? GOOD! See ya then!" And with that said Iruka was gone.

"Well I guess we'll have to go to sleep now huh?" Sapp asked. "If we're going to be up at 5 so we can go to school at 7:30…" Cat said. "Why do we have to get up at 5!??!!" Apollo exclaimed. "To make breakfast, have breakfast, fight for the bathroom, take our turns, find the way there, get there, get lost in the school-" Cat was cut off by Apollo. "Cat, we get it".

And the three departed to their rooms to rest for their first day of school, at 7:30 in the morning….

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I'm sorry if this was short but I did it at 6 in the morning! And I have to get to school! So Ja Ne! You know the drill! 1 rate or review for update! 

Sorry if this wasn't very funny!

Neko

PS: Thank you to all those who did review! I really appreciate it!


	4. Mad Skillz

Chappie 4! It gets a bit dry at the end! I was trying to add some drama. There are no pairings so don't get the wrong ideas! I just wanted to do that secene is all.

On another note there is a war in my review coloum! Please Apollo! RAndom anonymous reviewer! Calm down! Don't fight please!

Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto! But who knows maybe someday...

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Chapter 4: Mad Skillz

"I'm glad you girls could come so early it's great to see that commitment in young ninjas" Iruka-sensei said as he paced in front of a sleepy bed-headed trio. "So I just need to ask you girls a few questions to know how much you know and what we're going to have to teach you. So…." He picked up a clipboard. "I'll start with a simple one"

Cat nodded her head sleepily obviously still in a half-asleep half-awake daze. "First Question: What is chakra?" Iruka-sensei asked. "Chaka-who-wha?" Sapp asked quite obviously confused. Cat and Apollo exchanged glances. They forgot that Sapp doesn't know a thing about Naruto!!!!

"Well we'll have to cover that later, now here's a personal question how many shadow clones can you make?" Iruka continued. "Shadow clones? You mean like Star Wars?" Sapp was really confused now….

"Um, sensei! Don't mind her she's still asleep! She doesn't know what she's talking about!" Cat said. "Are you sure?" Iruka asked, but conclusions were drawn as they all watched Sapp dance around claiming to be dancing with Mr. Squiggles the Panda…..

"Uh she's not a morning person…" Apollo said as the three sweat dropped while watching Sapp's crazy antics. Thankfully Apollo and Cat could answer all of Iruka's questions, but they had to lie a little.

Later that Morning after the girls crashed on the desks….

"Today class we will be writing the written portion of your final exams, our new students will be writing with you since they have studied the same subjects at their old school"

Okay so they lied a lot…..

The whole class was there and the three girls were all sitting beside each other in the front row.

Iruka-sensei passed the tests out to everyone. "Begin" he commanded. All the students flipped their tests over. It was then that Cat, Apollo and Sapp realized something very important. They can't read Japanese….

Sapp turned the page at every possible angle trying to make out words. Then she made a discovery, Japanese letters make good decorations to paper airplanes.

Apollo didn't even try to decipher it. She simply stared hoping that the paper would randomly combust into flames and be gone.

Cat decided to be productive. She examined the paper seeming to be reading. Then she moved her pencil across the paper, she moved fast and pressed hard. She continued on her speed incredible, eventually a little smoke came off the pencil. The whole class started to watch Cat as she furiously scratched across the paper. After 3 minutes…. "Finally finished!" Cat declared. "Really? That's a new record!" Iruka chirped. "Yeah see?" Cat smiled happily as she showed her work to the class.

"I call it Mad Skillz Pony" Cat beamed.

"It looks like it was hit by a bus" Sapp said. And that it did. On that paper had to be the most demented looking pony ever! All the lines were wobbly and you couldn't tell which end was the head.

"And that's just the warm up! This is the real masterpiece" Cat said as she flipped over her paper. "I call this one Mad Skillz Sasuke."

"Is that a cockatoo?" Sapp asked.

"Yes look at his hair it looks like a cockatoo!" Cat exclaimed.

"Is it dead?" Apollo asked.

"Yep" Cat replied.

"Cool it's even better than Mad Skillz Sakura! Can I keep it?" Apollo asked.

"Sure!"

"Wait you mean you drew a picture of me?!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Yes, Cat gave it too me as a gift yesterday, it's still in my pocket" Apollo said as she took out another piece of paper.

"It looks like a fat mangled potato" Sapp commented.

"Fat?! I'm not fat?!" Sakura yelled.

"Quite the art critic aren't you Sapp?" Cat asked.

"Now students please continue with your tests, Cat you're going to have to start all over" Iruka-sensei said.

"Kay"

After lunch break and the test….

"Alright students tomorrow is the second part of the test. I will also tell you your scores on the written exam tomorrow!" Iruka-sensei "Dismissed!"

And with that the students left. "Yeah! Tomorrow's the final exam!" Cat sang as she skipped along her friends. "I can't wait!"

"Cat? We were barely able to answer Iruka-sensei's questions; tomorrow we are supposed to create shadow clones. Am I the only one who thinks this is impossible??!!" Apollo exclaimed.

"Relax I have a plan!" Cat said.

"And what would that be?" Apollo asked.

"We're going to wing it!"

"ARE YOU STUPID???!!!!"

"Um guys?" Sapp asked breaking up the fight. What's a shadow clone?"

Cat and Apollo exchanged glances. "Sapp we're going to have a long explanation when we get home…."

The next day…..

"I'm excited are you excited?" Cat exclaimed jumping up and down in her seat. "Cat calm down" Apollo attempted to calm Cat down but she just ran to bother other students. Iruka-sensei hadn't arrived yet but all the students were early for the test.

"Hi! I'mCatandI'mexcitedareyouexcited? CuzI'mexcited! Youshouldbeexcitedtoo! Cuzit'satest! ATEST!!!" Cat exclaimed. (Translation: I'm Cat and I'm excited are you excited? Cuz I'm excited! You should be excited too! Cuz it's a test! A TEST) She was now jumping around Naruto. "Uh, I guess?" he said. But she was already gone.

"Hi! I'm Cat! Are you excited for the test?!" Cat said, she was calming down a little; after all she didn't want to give one of her favourite characters a heart attack! "U-um I suppose" Hinata answered timidly. "Aw you're so shy! It's so cute!" Cat exclaimed hugging her. Causing Hinata to go red in the face. "Well see ya!" and with that Cat returned to her seat.

(Cat: I'm sorry I couldn't help myself! I have a low resistance to cute things////)

"Alright class for the final test you will have to make 3 shadow clones" Iruka said, Mizuki standing beside him in front of the class. (Cat: I can't remember what he says so I'll just put whatever, sorry!)

"Okay Sapp, now just remember do a bunch of hand signs then say _Bunshin no jutsu_! Okay?" Cat whispered to Sapp as they waited for their names to be called. "I don't think this is going to work Cat" Apollo said in a worried tone. "Relax, it might!" Cat replied. "_Might_?!" Apollo exclaimed.

"Takomi Cat?" Iruka-sensei called. "Takomi?" Sapp asked "Yep made it up myself" Cat said in a hushed tone so no one else would hear. Then she went down the stairs and into the testing room. "I hope she'll do alright" Sapp said. "We can only hope" Apollo answered.

With Cat….

"Alright then 3 clones is all you need to pass" Iruka-sensei said.

"Um okay" Cat said as she tried to remember the signs, but she drew a blank. _'Okay Cat pull it together! Breath in, take the plunge, swim like a fish…' _Cat then started to make symbols. She put her hands in a fist with both middle and pointer fingers still sticking up. Then she made the shape of a dog with her right hand, did rock, paper scissors and called out "Bunshin no jutsu!" and with a poof three clones stood beside her.

"Very good, strange hand signs but the end result is all that matters, take a head band you pass" Iruka-sensei said while writing on his clipboard. "Y-yes sir!" Cat exclaimed grabbing a head band and then running out to the lot where everyone else who had gone before her was. "YES!!!!" Cat cheered jumping up and down.

It was Sapp's turn next…..

"Alright Sapp begin" Iruka instructed. Sapp made to fists and placed them on top of each other, then she made a little bunny and proceeded into the chicken dance and called out "Bunshin no jutsu!" after she clapped her hands. Poof! And…. Success!! "You pass" Iruka-sensei said as he wrote on the clipboard, then Sapp grabbed a head band and ran out to meet up with Cat.

Let's not forget Apollo….

Apollo who had been peeking in through the door at Sapp's performance, was confused but relieved that the jutsu would work without the proper signs. "Enter Apollo" Iruka's voice called through the door. It was freaky, but hey, he's a ninja!

Apollo entered the room. "You know what to do" Iruka-sensei said. Apollo nodded then clapped her hands together and said "Bunshin no jutsu" and poof! Again success! "You pass" Iruka-sensei said wondering how all three girls could do the jutsu with out the proper hand signs.

Apollo took her headband and went to join her friends. "WE ALL PASSED!!! YEAH!!!" Cat cheered as she hugged the air out of her friends. "Yeah but Naruto didn't yet" Apollo said while trying to escape Cat's grasp. "You're right!" Cat said suddenly dropping her friends and going to see Naruto.

Naruto was sitting on a swing by himself. He was the only one who hadn't passed…. "Hey Naruto!" he looked up to see one of the weird new girls there. "Uh, yeah?" he asked. "Perk up! Your future is bright! I know these things I'm psychic! Just make sure that if someone asks to talk to you, you go with them kay?" She asked. "Uh sure?" he didn't know how to respond to that. "Naruto is it? Can I speak with you for a moment?" Naruto turned to see Mizuki. He then looked at the new girl. "Name's Cat, and good luck!" she said giving him the thumbs up and walking off.

One thing was for sure, the new girls were weird…..

* * *

So how was that? We had a bit of fun making fun of my drawing, but in real life it's not actually **that** bad! It's not the best, but it's definately not kindergarten material!

Anyway as I mentioned at the beginning there are no pairings! So don't get the wrong idea from that scene with me and Naruto! Mkay?

You know the dealio! One review for update! I'm such a good person! Not greedy at all! Well that and Apollo will kill me if I don't update but I write for you readers out there too!

Peace Out!

Neko


	5. Sensei?

Sorry it took so long to get out! I was busy Christmas shopping and such! So anyway!

**Hana No Chi: **LOL! I really have no idea how they do hand signs in Naruto. I think if I tried I might just put myself in the hospital! LOL funny about your cat though!

**The Jar Head**: Ah yes my fine jar headed friend, I got a bit confused so I had to check what episode the scene between Naruto and Sasuke was and it turns out it's THIS one! So please read!

**munkeemunkee**: Thank you! Sorry if I get you in trouble though! The Sasuke-onion thing is brilliant! LOL! I'm sure your friend is a talented artist!

**Pendragoness:** Thanks! And I updated right now!

**Vertigo Wanderer:** Thanks! I will!

_And a big Thank you to anyone who has read my story!_

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto, anything Naruto related or the Lord of the Rings (you'll understand if you read this chapter!)

* * *

Chapter 5: Sensei?

"Woot we're ninjas! It's our birthday! We're ninjas!" Cat sang as her and her friends headed toward the class room. Today was a good day! Even Apollo was in high spirits, well higher than usual anyway….

"FEAR ME FOR I AM THE POTATO NINJA!" Sapp yelled busting the door down. Everyone stared at her. "Sapp? What does the Potato Ninja do? Grow spuds?" Cat asked her friend with an eyebrow cocked. "No! It means I'm a lazy couch potato who will probably never amount to anything, and end up selling cheap, faulty make-up products door to door" she explained as the girls went to their seats. "Right" Apollo said.

Cat looked around the room. "That's funny I thought Sakura and Ino would be here by n-" she was cut off by the door being slammed open again. "Goal!" Both Sakura and Ino shouted. Cat smiled evilly as they began to bicker.

"Cat why are you smiling so evilly?" Apollo asked nervously. "Just watch" she replied as they watched the growing mass of bickering fan girls. "The Hokage should be watching us by about now" she whispered to Apollo. Apollo just nodded conspiratorially.

Naruto was mad now; he got up on the desk in front of Sasuke, their noses just 2 centimeters apart. "You didn't" Apollo said as she turned to Cat, who was giving off an evil aura while rubbing her camera like she was Gollum and the camera was the ring. (Cat: from Lord of the Rings!!!)

The fan girls started yelling at Naruto. He looked at them then back at Sasuke. Suddenly the boy sitting just below Naruto stood up, causing Naruto to fall forward and….. You guessed it! They KISSED!

**Click!** _Flash_

The boys pulled apart hacking and coughing. Loud laughter was heard from the far side of the room. Guess who it was? Yep, it was us. Cat, Sapp and Apollo were on the floor laughing hard and holding their sides.

"T-that was h-HILARIOUS!" Cat exclaimed still laughing and trying to stand up.

"Please! No more!" Sapp said between laughs "I'm going to die from laughter!"

"S-Sasuke I didn't know that you were- hahaha!" Apollo said never finishing her sentence.

While we tried to compose ourselves the fan girls proceeded into beating up Naruto. Which wasn't fair, but sadly we were to busy laughing our heads off to do anything…

"Starting today you are all official ninjas but…. You are still new Genins…. It's going to get harder from here…. You will be in a group of three where you will accomplish missions under a Jounin teacher. We've arranged the groups such that overall abilities are equivalent. I will now announce them…" Iruka-sensei said then proceeding into reading off the teams.

"I hope we're all together" Sapp whispered. "Shoot! I forgot about that " Cat said with a sweat-drop. "Don't worry we will, I've…. Made sure of it…."Apollo replied. Her two friends looked at each other. "What did you do?" They both asked. "Just watch" Apollo replied.

Later on….

"Next the 7th group… Uzumaki, Naruto. Haruno, Sakura and Uchiha, Sasuke

Next 8th group… Hyuuga, Hinata. Inuzuka, Kiba. Aburame Shino.

Next 9th group… Takomi, Cat. Apollo and Salad, Sapp?" Iruka-sensei said trying to pronounce our names. "It pronounced Sa-LAD!" Sapp stated.

"10th group… Yamanaka, Ino. Nara, Shikamaru and Akimichi, Chouji. That's it for the groups" Iruka-sensei finished.

Naruto then started to protest. He and Sasuke argued yada yada ya….

"I'm going to introduce the Jounin teachers in the afternoon. Meeting adjourned until then!" Iruka declared.

Lunch time…

"Alright time to deliver these!" Cat declared as she and her friends exited the school. "Deliver what?" Apollo asked suspiciously. "The invitations! We're having a sleepover for all the teams that graduated!" Cat explained. "So we're inviting everyone?" Sapp asked. "Nope just the ones who'll pass the exam their senseis will give to them" Cat said. "So you mean Kiba, Hinata, Shino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Ino, Sakura, Naruto and… wait you're inviting HIM too??!!!" said Apollo as her voice rose.

"We have to invite him" Cat said "besides Sasuke trapped in the same house as Ino and Sakura? It'll be live torture!" Apollo smirked "So that's why we're friends…"

Later after the invitations were given to confused Genin who wondered how we knew who they were and we ate lunch….

Only six Genin remained in a classroom waiting for their senseis. Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were all situated close to the door, while the other three were huddled on the far side of the room.

"I wonder who will be our sensei? I mean you don't see any other Jounin that don't already have a team in the show" Cat whispered to her friends. Sapp nodded. "I know I'm a little worried though, what if this completely messes up the show?" Apollo whispered back.

"Naruto what are you doing?!" Sakura exclaimed from the other side of the room. Naruto wedged a chalk eraser in between the door. "This is what he gets for being so late!" Naruto declared. "Hn. That'll never work on a Jounin" Sasuke grunted like a gorill-vajsabjhd (Cat: Sorry about that, but a certain APOLLO stole the keyboard from me!)

The door then opened and the eraser fell and hit a certain Jounin on the head.

**Click!**

"My first impression is… I hate you all" The chalk dust covered sensei said. "Oh yes! And Cat, Apollo and Sapp are supposed to meet their sensei in the next room over" he added.

"Well that's new" Apollo muttered as the girls headed to the next classroom, while Team 7 departed.

Sapp slide the door open a little. "Hello?" she called out nervously. The classroom was pitch black, you couldn't even see the other side! As the door was pushed open a bit more the light poured in to reveal a person standing in the middle of the room.

"AAH!" Sapp screamed clinging to the person closest, which just so happened to be Cat. "Samia?" Apollo questioned. And there she stood. Our freaky 13-year-old stalker friend in all her 4'9 foot glory. "Wait YOUR our sensei!" Cat exclaimed. She merely nodded her head, her long, dark chestnut brown hair swinging. "Sweet!" Sapp cheered no longer afraid. They all stared at her green vest.

"How did you get to be a Jounin? Wait! How did you get here?" Apollo asked as the four started walking down the hallway. Samia looked up at her (Cat: Samia is 4 foot '9 and we're all about 5'1 so she's shorter than all of us…) "Coffee?" she asked in her quiet voice. "Yep we have some at our apartment!" Cat said. Samia smiled her creepy, freaky, stalker smile.

Konoha was in for a surprise if they thought the three of them alone were crazy…. With Samia there…. Oh they were in for a surprise….

* * *

Yes our good friend Samia is a piece of work... She really is a creepy person but I couldn't resist putting her in! Imagine the freaky girl from the Ring. Samia is actually a lot like her...

Peace Out!

Neko


	6. Where is Balck Hayate?

It liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiives! That's right people I AM ALIVE. After my good friend Apollo oh so kindly threatened- (sees Apollo glare in background) Uh, um... kindly **reminded **me that I have a story to write, I got on it. So you should all thank her!

Also! I would like to give a shout out to my loyal reviewer **munkeemunkee **who messaged me and asked me to update! I just LOVE getting messages! Especially when they aren't threatening!

So without further stalling... Chapter Six!

**Discalimer: I DO NOT in anyway WHATSOEVER own Naruto or Full Metal Alchemist**. Just the OCs

* * *

Chapter 6: Where's Black Hayate?

"Why did I come here again?" Sasuke asked. He was squashed in the girl's living room with other various ninja peoples. Our peeps yo! (Apollo: no)

"Because I bribed you?" Apollo asked.

"Because I blackmailed you?" Cat supplied.

"Because I kidnapped you?" Sapp asked.

"You kidnapped Sasuke?!" Sakura and Ino exclaimed. "No" Cat said. "Yes I did! I threw a potato sack on him" Sapp said. "And missed" Apollo added. "I remember it all like it was just yesterday…" Cat started. "Uh Cat? It was just this morning" Apollo said

_Flashback_

It was a day like no other. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and all was right in the world. Or was it?

"Hello Sasuke" Cat said smiling cheerily while popping out from behind a rock.

"Hn"

"Did you read the invitation?" Sapp asked.

"Hn"

"So are you coming?" Apollo asked.

"Hn. No"

"I'll give you this wallet" Apollo said as she held up a black wallet.

"This is mine" Sasuke said taking the wallet. "And there's only 1500 yen…"

"If you don't come I'll post this picture of you and Naruto lip-locking all over Konoha!" Cat threatened waving the picture in front of his face.

"Hn. Fine" Sasuke spat.

"BANZAI!!" Sapp shouted jumping out of the tree. "Hyaa!" she yelled throwing a potato sack and capturing her prey. She then picked the sack up and threw it over her shoulder. "I got Sasuke, let's roll" she said turning to face her friends.

"Um Sapp? Sasuke's right here" Apollo stated pointing to Sasuke, who was to her left.

"Then who's in the sack?" Sapp asked opening up the sack, and out popped… a squirrel. "Orlando??!!!" Cat exclaimed. She raced over and picked up a small scrawny grey squirrel. With a tail that resembled a twig. His left eye repeatedly twitching. "I missed you buddy!" Cat cheered.

"Orlando?" Sasuke asked.

"Nevermind let's go. Come on the apartment's this way" Apollo said.

_End Flashback_

"But I did kidnap him! I swear!" Sapp cried. "Sapp? You can't call it a kidnapping if he came willingly without a potato sack" Apollo said. "She's right. Isn't she right Orlando?" Cat said to the little squirrel on her left shoulder. He merely twitched.

"Is he okay?" Kiba asked and all eyes turned to the little grey twitching mass on Cat's shoulder. Then Orlando had one last spasm before he fell off Cat's shoulder and onto her lap. "Okay Orlando you do that!" Cat said. "Um I think its dead" Ino said. "Oh no, he's just sleeping! He does this all the time! Right Orli?" Cat asked. His left leg twitched. "See? A-okay!"

"Do you have any food?" Chouji asked.

Sapp got up and headed to the kitchen "I'll go check if we have any snacks"

"Right. So what should we do?" asked Naruto.

"SPIN THE BOTTLE!" Sakura yelled.

"7 MINUTES IN HEAVEN!" Ino screamed.

"NEVER!!!!" Cat screeched and with one giant swing of a giant spoon Sakura and Ino went flying into the open fridge which Sapp promptly closed afterwards.

"Thank you" said Apollo.

"Uh-um where did y-you get that s-spoon?" Hinata asked.

"Hm? Oh this? You've never seen an industrialized spoon before? It's the kind they use on assembly lines. This one's from the pudding factory. Mmmmm smells like chocolate" Cat said as she sniffed the spoon.

"Question?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yeah?"

"Where are we all gonna sleep? You can't possibly fit us all in here, and I don't think the guys and girls want to share a room." Shika explained.

"Good point Shika. We'll have to split up into rooms. Follow me" Cat said as she was brought out of her reverie of spoon smelling fun and lead the ninjas down the hallway. "Man, what a drag, can't she just tell us where we can sleep?" Shika huffed. "Come on Shika!" Cat called. "Don't call me that."

"Well some of us can sleep in Sapp's room…." Cat said as she pushed open the door, "or not…." Sapp room was stuffed! There was stuff everywhere! Plushies, book clothes. You couldn't even see the floor. "How does someone sleep in here?" asked Kiba. "It's not hard!" came a voice from under the mountain of plushies. "Sapp?" Cat called. "Yep?" came the voice. "Uh, never mind…" Cat then closed the door.

"Uh, right moving on…." Cat led them to the door next to Sapp's. "Well we can't stay in my room, since we haven't had the wall fixed yet."

"You're walls broken?" Naruto asked.

"NO! You Baka!" Sakura said some how magically escaping the fridge. "She probably has a leak or something."

"Actually no, Naru's right. See?" Cat said as she pushed open the door to reveal a fairly large hole in the wall on the far side. It had been covered in plastic but you could still see outside. "Wait, is that a person?" Ino asked. "Why, yes it's Sapp actually" Cat explained. "See Apollo called the bathroom first yesterday, but Sapp snuck in while Apollo was getting clothes. So, Apollo threw her through a wall."

The ninjas just gave her a blank stare.

"Well, the only room left is Apollo's, which when you think about it, we should've gone there first since it has no problems what so ever!" and with that Cat pushed open the door to reveal darkness. Cold, black omnipotent darkness. "There's a room in there?" Naruto asked. "Actually I wonder that myself sometimes."

"What do you want Cat?" Came Apollo's voice from the black abyss, "oh we were just looking for space for people to sleep" she replied. "Oh, well suppose a few people can sleep in here."

"Really that's great!" Cat turned to the ninja's expectantly. "W-well it can't be that bad!" Naruto said. "I mean I am the greatest ninja after all!" and with that he took 3 steps forward and completely disappeared from view. "AHHHH!" Naruto screamed and came barreling out jumping onto Shino. Why Shino? You may ask. Why not Shino?

"Oh, sorry about that, you'll have to watch out for my _pets_" Apollo called. "Well I guess we'll all be sleeping in the living room."

The ninjas were all in the living room with their sleeping bags, pillows and pajamas. This is where a description of everyone's pajamas goes; you just can't see it since it's invisible…

"Why do Ino and Sakura get the couches?" Naruto asked.

"Since we're girls!" Ino retorted.

"Hinata's a girl, and she's sleeping on the floor like us." Kiba said.

"Um, w-well…"

"Actually Hinata is sleeping in my room" Cat said coming from out of the hallway dressed in plaid pajama pants and a baggy shirt.

"Why just Hinata? What about Sakura and Ino?" Chouji asked.

"That's probably because they both wanted to sleep in the same room as their precious Sasuke." Shikamaru explained.

"Yeah, that's probably true; they just lied and said they had to kindly decline so Hinata would have enough room. Come on Hinata we should get to bed" Cat said and led her down the hall.

"BED?! But the party just started! Besides it's only….. 10:00 pm!" Naruto huffed. "It's 10 already?" Shika asked. "Wow, Shikamaru I've never seen you up this late normally you conk out at 9:30 pm!" Chouji exclaimed. "It is getting late we should head to bed" Shino said. "Uh, Shino you wear your glasses to bed?" Kiba asked. Shino merely pushed his glasses up on his face and turned the lights off. "HEY!"

The ninjas all snuggled down into their sleeping bags. When… _Crash_ **Bang. **Lightening and thunder stormed outside. "Well that was sudden" Sakura whispered quietly. The whole house was quiet but not peaceful quiet, one of those tension filled quiets right before a girl gets killed off in a horror movie. _Creeeeeak_. _Creeak_. _Creak._

"What was that?" Sakura whispered. "What was what Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked. "That noise." Ino replied. "Oh that's probably nothing besides; I'll protect you Sakur-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"

"IT'S AN AXE WIELDING MURDERER!"  
"WE"RE ALL GONNA DIE!"

"SAVE ME SASUKE!"

And at that moment the lights went on. "What's going on in here? Did Apollo put another head less cat in Sasuke's sleeping bag?" Cat asked drowsily. The ninjas just gave her horrified looks. "I think I saw a spider" Ino said. Cat merely cocked an eyebrow.

Apollo's door then opened and out came a hooded figure. With a long back cloak. "Alright nobody move" it drawled. "A-Apollo?" Kiba asked. "Yes?" she replied.

"Why are you dressed as the Grim Reaper?"

"These are my pajamas."

The whole room was silent. "Anyway what's all the commotion?" Apollo asked. "Ino thinks she saw a spider." Cat yawned. "Really?" Apollo said and took out a jar. "Let's see Edward and Alphonse are here. So is Riza. Ah, Black Hayate is missing."

"Black Hayate?" Sasuke asked. (AN: Well that's new)

"Yes he's one of my pet's he's not dangerous" she said.

"Oh, good" Ino sighed in relief.

"He's only a very poisonous tarantula. But he's really friendly! He only killed 5 delivery men just having him shipped here." She continued.

"I think I may have squashed him." Sakura said nervously, more at the thought of spider guts on her than of Black Hayate's safety.

Apollo's eye twitched repeatedly. "Whaaaaaaaaaat?" She said. And with a crazed wild banshee call grabbed Sakura by her hair and dragged her towards the bathroom.

"No wait! NO!" The sounds of chopping and knives.

A chin saw. "PLEASE!"

A can of spray cheese. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

And with that Sakura came running out of the bathroom, her bright pink hair dyed neon green and lots of string cheese tied up in knots in her hair. With that she kept screaming and ran out the door. Never even looking back….

"I can't believe it! Black Hayate wasn't just a spider, he was _my_ spider. I've had him forever! All those good times we've had… GONE!" Apollo sobbed.

Shino then held out a finger. On that finger was a large spider with a little black bow on it.

"B-black Hayate?" Apollo asked.

"Phruuuuuui" It…. Uh …. Made a sound? Purred? Yeah that's good. Purred.

"Awwwwww" Sapp and Cat said. "I just love a happy ending" Cat cried. "Right. I'm going back to sleep." Shikamaru said. The rest of the ninjas nodded at him and turned off the lights. This time to actually _go_ to sleep.

* * *

So how was that? Funny enough? Yes, Apollo's spiders are named after Full Metal Alchemist characters. WE LURVE that show! Naruto too! Especially since the fillers are over!!(cries) Thank you! Thank you all!!!!

Anyway **1 review** to update.

Peace Out,

Cat


	7. Tasks and Rivals!

Finally an UPDATE!!! Right? Well can't blame you, you see I... Oh what the hech I don't have an excuse! I'm just a lazy bum!!! Hehe, sorry...

Anyway let's move on shall we?

**Disclaimer**: I **DO NOT** own Naruto, it's setting or characters. I DO own **Kunoichis in Love **however! (You'll understand at the end!)

* * *

Chapter 7: Tasks and Rivals

"Yawn" Three baggy-eyed kunoichi sat lazily on the grass near a pond. "So Samia said she'd meet us here?" a very sleepy Sapp asked.

"Yep" Nodded Cat.

"We have to take that second examiny thing, to ensure we're ninjas. Like Kakashi did with the bells."

"Well" Apollo started, "it better not involve running, jumping, or any kind of athletic movement of any kind."

"I hear ya" Sapp said.

Then a shadow fell over them. "Oh hey Samia." Apollo said. "Apollo, you can't call her Samia, you have to call her Samia-sensei." Cat explained. "Why don't we just call her S.S.?" Sapp asked. "Hm, makes her sound like a boat…" Cat trailed off.

The team of three all sat in thought until a paper was shoved in their face. "Hm? Oh! This must be our test!" Sapp said happily as she grabbed the paper and read over it happily. "Oh! Let me see." Cat said and grabbed the paper. "What! B-but this is….!" Cat exclaimed looking at the paper shakily. "What is it?" Apollo looked over Cat's shoulder. Her eyes went wide. "Are you trying to kill us?" she asked.

"Turn over" Samia said quietly. The girls turned it over. "Okay fine, you're the boss!" Cat said as the three quickly got up. "We shall report back soon sensei!" Sapp said as she saluted her. Cat following her example, while Apollo just stared.

"Hey I have a crazy awesome idea!" Cat said suddenly. "What?" Asked the other two. "We should do that crazy jumping tree-to-tree thing the other ninjas can!" Cat said as she jumped up and down. "Now, you're trying to get us killed." Apollo stated. "Hey! We pulled off the hand signs didn't we!" Cat protested. "It'll work just follow me"

"I can't believe it worked." Apollo mumbled as they ran from tree to tree. Well actually it was more like a jog and Sapp skipped….

"Okay" Cat said as she stopped the other two stopping as well, "we each need these." Cat threw a walkie talkie that fits in your ear to each of them. "We should split up and accomplish these tasks separately." The three girls then got into a circle and discussed their game plan. "Break!" They all said and ran off in opposite directions.

Cat's Task: (Cat's POV)

I ran from tree branch to tree branch stealthily. Then I stopped and took something cloth like from my pocket, it was…. A KAKASHI MASK!! I put it on, my eyes shifting left and right. "I've always wanted to do this." I grinned, but no one could see it! (A/N: Oh come on! You all know you wanna wear Kakashi's mask!) The target could not be too far. Suddenly I heard a sound and quickly hid in the top of the tree. There he was. I smiled to myself, it was almost too easy. I quickly tied some see-through fishing wire around the ring at the bottom of the kunai and threw the kunai. It sailed through the air I knew it would hit target. It whizzed through the air hit the target and landed firmly in the tree with a _crunch_!

"Ahhh! Asuma-sensei!"

"Is this a part of the test?!"

"NO! MY CHIPS!"

I quickly pulled of the string and the kunai snapped back, bag of chips and all. I then quickly tossed another bag of potato chips out of the tree. They landed right in front of Chouji. "sniff M-megan?" he asked. _'Megan?! He named his chips Megan!' _

Chouji then picked up the bag of chips and it exploded in a cloud of smoke! To reveal…… a granola bar. "WHAT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Chouji fell to his knees and screamed.

I then ran away quickly, only one thing going through my head. _'Nanananananana Catgirl!' _

Chouji then noticed a plain white card sitting next to him on the ground. It read:

_Bwahahahaha! I have bested you Akimichi Chouji! _

_Enjoy your healthy granola snack!_

_Signed,_

_Catgirl _

And there was a cute anime kitty drawn on the bottom. "Curse you Catgirl! CURSE YOU!"

I had once again bested my eternal rival Akimichi Chouji!

My mission was complete I wondered how the others were fairing…..

Sapp's Task: (Sapp's POV)

I skipped down the street of Konoha. "Hello bird! Hello tree! Hello child! Hello mysteriously miss-shapen rock! Hello freakish hobo drug-dealer guy in the back alley! Hello sun!" I then took a right and stopped in front of the building. It's colourful and delicious looking sign made it look welcoming, but I knew the truth. I knew what actually was going on in there!

I quickly kicked the door open, pushed off the ground with two feet, sailed through the air and gracefully landed on the counter. "One extra large coffee to go" I said in a monotone voice. The other people in line protested loudly. "Um, miss? There are other people in line." The cashier guy said, according to his name tag his name was _Yamir_.

"Listen up Maggot! I am on a mission and you will get me an Extra Large Coffee to go!" I said in that monotone boot-camp voice. "B-but we don't have any sizes larger than large." Yamir stammered.

"Did I ask for excuses recruit?! NO!! NOW MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT!" I yelled while Yamir quickly prepared the coffee. "Uh, h-here you go Miss, h-have a nice day!" He said handing me the coffee. I glared at him. "You sicken me" and with that said I turned and left the Konoha Doughnut Shoppe.

"OH! Hi freakish hobo drug-dealer guy!" I beamed and then continued to skip down the street.

Apollo's Task: (Apollo's POV)

I stood in the tree eyeing my target. 'I can't believe I have to do this! But then again I'm glad that Cat gave me this task instead of the others. I guess she was right I am best suited for this task.'

I sighed. "Alright here goes nothing and I jumped down over the fence and into the yard……

"So then I said 'did I ask for excuses recruit?! NO!! NOW MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT'"

"Haha LOL" Cat laughed. Sapp and Cat were standing with Samia-sensei back at the meeting place.

"I'm back." I called out. They all turned to look at me. "So did you do it?" Cat asked. "Did ya? Did ya? Did ya?" Sapp jumped around.

"Of course I did! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" I laughed maniacally. "Oooh! Let me see the pictures Apollo!" Cat squealed. I tossed them to her gingerly. They all crowded around her.

"Woah!"

"Sick!"

"I can't wait 'til he sees it!!!"

They looked up at me. Samia-sensei handed me a paper. I read over it quickly, _'Great Job Apollo' _and it had a little smiley sticker at the bottom. "Uh thanks?"

"Come on girls let's head home! Besides, my soaps are almost on!" Cat cheered. "Ooh it's that brand new episode of ' Kunoichis in Love' where we find out if Yuzu survives surgery and if little Kari runs away from home!!!" Sapp exclaimed. "Well? What are we waiting for!!" and with that the two girls ran off to submerge themselves in TV dramas.

I turned back and looked at the setting sun. 'It's really peaceful' I thought. "At least for us! Goodnight Sasuke! BWAHAHAHA!" I cackled crazily. I them turned to see a squirrel staring at me. My eye twitched. "Bwahahaha FLUFFY!"

And so ended another peaceful day in Konoha… (Wild squirrel shrieks and Apollo evil laughter in background) Yes, oh so peaceful!

_Sasuke walked home to his house finally rid of his annoying team mates. He opened the door about to finally be able to relax (well as much as Sasuke relaxes anyway) when he finally got a good look at his house. One word past through his mind. "Naruto" he snarled._

What happened? Well you're just going to have to wait to find out! Bwaha! Hahaaha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH- gets cactus thrown at head OW!

"Cat the shows starting!"

OH Gotta goes! Biyas!

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BWAHAHAHA! CLIFF HANGER! Anyway I want 2 reviews!! Please!

Thanks you guys rock!

Peace!

Neko-nee-chan


	8. Road Trip

GUESS WHO'S BACK? That's right since summer vacation is here I decided to update! HUZZAH! Besides I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT! I broke down the cement wall of Writer's Block only for it to reveal a golden road of Ideas paved with Plots and Doughnuts! Thanks to all you reviewers out there with your nice reviews. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Happy moment aside...

So yes my dear readers this means I'll probably will be updating more often again. Maybe not but since I've seen this plot I haven't been able to stop thinking about it! SO YA!

Disclaimer: I **DO NOT** own Naruto. BELIEVE IT!!

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"…and so your team will be going on a C-Rank Mission. Since you all work well together." The Hokage finished up. "You are dismissed."

"We are going on a road trip! Woot woot!" Cat did cartwheels down the hallway. "Thank you Samia-sensei!" Sapp cheered. The events leading up to this one happened not so long ago….

_"You know, I think I'm going to miss them," Cat said as she practiced throwing kunai at a tree. "Who?" Sapp asked dropping down from the tree she was climbing. Apollo just listened carefully from where she was meditating. Yes they do train. "Naruto's team. You know his whole team will be going on the 'C-Rank' Mission which turns out to be an A!" _

_Sapp huffed. "Well that's not fair!" _

_"I know I'm not going to have anyone to harass for a while." Cat pouted._

_"Cat," Apollo started "you're all missing the bigger picture!"_

_"What's that Po-chan?" Tweedle dumb and tweedle dee questioned._

_They were both nailed in the head with bricks._

_"Don't call me that!" Apollo hissed, "but the bigger picture is that we won't get to see Sasuke 'die'!"_

_"You're right! Samia-sensei!" Their sensei turned to them, "we have to go to the Land of the Waves on a mission!" Sapp stated._

_"NO!" Cat smacked them on the back of the head. "We can't! If we do we may screw up the future and then certain events may not happen!"_

_"But I wanna go on a trip too!" Sapp whined. "Samia-sensei! Please get us a mission!" Samia then nodded and walked off._

And so that is how it came that we were going on a C-Rank mission of our own. A road trip to the Hidden Sand Village.

"Hey Naruto!" Cat called as her and the rest of the team raced over the hill. She slid to a stop in front of them and bent over to catch her breath. "Huh why are you people here?" Naruto crossed his arms behind his head. "We came to see you off-" Sapp started "-so we could annoy you all one last time before you leave." Cat finished.

Team 7 all sweat-dropped. "Uh thanks?" Naruto said. "We don't need you here! We're going to go on a mission now!" Sakura exclaimed. "I know I know," Cat said as she walked over and put her hand on Sakura's shoulder, "and as proper kunoichi of Konoha we came to see you off and wish you good luck. Besides if none of you come back alive I'll be bored! So for now I am calling a temporary truce! You come back alive from your mission and we'll come back from ours. Deal?" she extended her hand to the pink haired ninja.

"I don't need to make a deal with you!" Sakura sniffed and turned away. "Oh you b-" Apollo started. "Apollo!" Her teammates scolded. "-bothersome annoying witch!" she finished.

"Fine then! If you're going to be like that I'll take my business to nicer people! Naruto!" Cat turned to him. "Uh yeah?" he asked. "If you come back alive, you and me, ramen eating contest all you can eat. My treat got it?" Cat asked. "YEAH! DATTEBAYO! You sure you'll have enough money!" he laughed shaking her hand. "Don't worry when I said I was paying I meant Kakashi was!" she laughed. "Hey…" the grey haired jounin started."Anyway see you later!" She said as she started walking away. "Biyas!" Sapp waved following Cat.

Apollo turned to look at the fourth person of the party who had been surprisingly silent. She pointed at him with to fingers then at her eyes and back at him. Giving him the international sign of 'I'm watching you'. Before walking away.

"What was that about?" Sakura asked looking from their employer to Apollo's distancing back. "Hn," Sasuke said. And so Team 7 departed for the Land of the Waves.

And right when they were 15 feet from the village, it exploded into a huge column of fire, and everyone died. The End.

Just kidding.

It was a bright and sunny morning. And all was peac- "AGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! OMIGOSHOMIGOSH!! NOONESHERE!! AHHHHH WHATIFTHEYDIED!!! ORIFTHEYFORGOT!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH" Cat hollered as she ran in circles at the Konoha entrance. Her loud obnoxious hollering was cut off by a shoe in the face.

"Cat we were supposed to meet over here on the other side of this tree…." Apollo said appearing from behind said meeting tree. "Oh…. Well I feel stupid…." Cat mumbled as she joined the rest of her team.

"Okay so we have to safely transport this trunk to Sunakagure. The cargo inside is valuable and must be protected with our lives." Apollo read from the cue card handed to her from their quiet sensei.

The team all stared at their precious cargo. It was a metal trunk that resembled a treasure chest with metal frame and metal bolts. It had to be at least 4 feet long and 3 feet wide. "And we're supposed to carry this," Sapp gulfed. "Okay I have an idea" Cat said.

A dark shadow watched and waited from an enclosure in the woods. Small squirrels and other forest wild life went along their happy day completely unaware of what danger lay in there midst. A small voice broke through some static. "Are the targets in sight?" The voice was deep and that of a male. His voiced was low and mumbled. "No they left the gates 2 hours ago and aren't far enough down the road yet," came a scratchy voice from the dark figure perched on a rock. More static broke out from the small communication device, "we are to attack once they have reached a half way point." The dark figured smirked. "Excellent."

"I'm so tired," Sapp huffed as she stepped on another rock, "and my feet hurt." She whined. Apollo gave a sigh. "Sapp we'll never make it to Suna if we keep having to stop." Apollo lectured. "I know," Sapp huffed, "but we'll never make it if we're too tired too. Oh and you got a smudge of something on the side of your mouth."

"That's true tell you what how bout we walk just a little more until we set up ca-AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Cat screeched as she tripped and started sliding down a steep hill on the side of the path. She tightened her grip on the handle of the trunk as she started to fall. Apollo was carrying the back end of the trunk and the weight from Cat pulling on the trunk made her fall downward as well. Thus pulling down Sapp and Samia who were holding the other side of the trunk as well.

"AAAHHHHHHHHH!" Sapp screeched as they began to slide down the hill. Samia let out a screech of that comparable to a chicken and clung to the top of the trunk. "CAAAAAT!" Apollo screeched in anger. "WHY ME?!" Cat screamed as they all began to roll down the hill. The hill was steep and covered in trees and dotted with rocks. Branches whipped at them and grass and dirt covered them as they hit rocks and stumps. Finally all the girls crashed at the bottom of the hill.

The four of them lay twitching on the ground by a small stream coursing through the deep forest. It was very quiet as the kunoichis sat there to ponder their thoughts. Things such as….

"Ow ow ow ow ow."

"I will KILL Cat after I can start feeling my legs again."

"I need more coffee….." And.

"WHY DO ALL TREES HATE ME?! DON'T LAUGH! I CAN HEAR YOU

LAUGHING TREES!"

I'll leave it to you to figure out whose thoughts are whose. "Is-is everyone okay?" Cat asked slowly getting up. "Oh don't worry I'll be okay," Apollo said grabbing a tree for support and dusting herself off. "AS SOON AS I KILL YOU!" She screeched as she latched her hands onto Cats throat and began to shake her. "WHAT ARE THINKING?! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?" She screeched. Cat made gasping and choking sounds as she waved all her limbs about while her eye twitched. Apollo then released her and she landed on the ground in a heap of limbs. "Great. What now?" She asked turning to the other members of their team.

He smirked. Everything was going according to plan. He watched as the supposed "guards" whined and complained. He followed them from the tree tops. They were nothing but a bunch of young girls it was almost too easy. All he needed was the cargo. He didn't have to even worry about killing them. "Heh, this'll scare them away." A black blob began to form on his hand. It began to take a small form and sprouted eight legs. "This should be enough they are girls after all," he smirked.

He dropped the black spider landed on the center of the trunk. The girls continued on without noticing. The figure performed a few seals and the spider's eyes opened. He began to look around through the spiders eyes. 'This spider probe should be small enough to fit through the lock on the front. Now all I have to do is get to the cargo and… huh?' The spider probe turned to find one girl string at him. It was the one with the short hair and dark personality. She was looking at him with a look of…… what do you call a look like that? Her face was scrunched up in a look that seemed like a cross between amusement and curiosity. The girl quickly looked around to make sure her teammates weren't looking. Then she quickly grabbed the spider.

The probe let out a squeal and she shoved it in her mouth. Her teammates looked at her. "What was that?" Sapp asked staring at her. Apollo quickly glanced at her other teammates who looked back with questioning eyes. She quickly swallowed. "Gas," was all she said. "Uh, right lets keep going," Cat said shifting her gaze back to the road. Then the team continued awkwardly down the trail.

'She…. She ….. she ate it… SHE ATE IT!' The figure watched as the girls continued on they're way. His eye twitched. Twice. He shook his head. 'Keep your cool. So one of them is strange? There could be worse. Don't let them escape!' The figure did a few more crazed ninja hand signs then touched the bark of the tree. The bark began to ripple almost as if it was made of water and the hand sunk in as if it was. The figure stepped into the tree. 'I will get them for sure this time.'

He zipped from the tree to the ground and then through the next tree and the next. He stopped at a tree alongside the road. "Heh heh now I just wait for the opportune moment and then I shall strike!" He muttered to himself. He heard voices coming, "I'm so tired." 'They're almost here.' "Sapp we'll never make it to Suna if we keep having to stop." 'Almost.' "That's true tell you what how bout we walk just a little more until we set up ca-'NOW!' The figure began to step out and was ready to attack when one of the ninjas took a step forward and tripped over his foot.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The kunoichi moved off the path. The figure reached out to grab the silent one on the end when the screaming girl pulled them all off the road. The figure snatched at empty air. 'DARN!' He stepped out of the tree and watched as the girls went tumbling down the hill.

'Hm. They're more clever than I thought,' he mused. 'But not clever enough!' He slipped into another tree and sped down the hill after them. "Great. What now?" He listened in as he got closer.

"Well first we should get this trunk unstuck!" Sapp said as she pointed to the trunk stuck in between two rocks upside down and sideways like a hotdog. "Where's Samia-sensei?" Apollo asked. She was answered by a muffled grunt form under the trunk as an arm stuck out and waved around. "Well, I guess that answers that question." Apollo sighed grabbed on to one handle. "You grab the other one and we lift on three?" Sapp nodded and grabbed her handle.

The figure slipped into a tree behind one of them. "One..." He got ready. "Two…." He began to step out of the tree. "THREE!" He stepped out and was about to attacked the pony-tailed girl when a huge metal chest collided with his skull and sent him flying back through a few trees. "SAPP! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY LET GO!" He grabbed a tree for support and began to lift himself off the ground. "Never mind just go get the trunk again." A voice spoke. "Yeah, yeah okay."

He heard footsteps coming towards him; he reached into his kunai pouch. "Hey I could've sworn it was over here some where?" He leaped out.

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"SAPP!"

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BWAHAHAHAA! CLIFFHANGER!!! And you know what would make me want to update faster? REVIEWS! YES PLEASE!!!

Also I've noticed that I am getting close to a wonking 50 REVIEWS! So in celebration I've decided that after I hit the 50 mark, I want YOU guys out there to send me an idea. Either for a chapter of this story or a one-shot.

You can pick the characters and genre. As you know I can write comedy, and Romance, I can probably pull off other stuff. Horror is a NO NO. I'm sorry I'll scare myself so badly I'll never come on the computer again and well... that wouldn't make anyone happy.

Angst... I can try really I can... I'll even ask Apollo for advice (WHO IS WRITING A STORY MY THE WAY! CHECK MY FAV AUTHORS!) but I'm just gonna warn all of you now. asking me to write angst is like asking Barney to be Sailor Moon. Weird and twisted things happen. No seriously if I tried hard enough I probably could... its just a warning!

So anyway REVIEW and send me YOUR IDEAS/REQUESTS! The best one gets picked. I WELCOME OC CHARACTERS!! I can't guarantee they'll be in this story though!

Peace!

Neko


	9. Too Many Voices! And TREES!

ANOTHER UPDATE!!!! YES I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF!!!

Yes so, this chapter is dedicated to my good friend Apollo who had to wait MONTHS for an update.

And to Sapp! Happy happy birthday to you! YOU ROCK!

And to Runelesca for giving me a review! AND SHE THREATENED ME WITH HATEMAIL! I think we could get along nicely!

But enough of my rambling onto the story!

Disclaimer: I **DON'T** own Naruto. OR Kingdom Hearts (mild reference)

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Chapter 9: 

Too Many Voices! And TREES!

Cat's POV:

_Cat_

'Ugh my head'

_Cat_

'Not now I want to rest more'

_CAT!_

'AGH! WHAT IS IT!'

_SO YOU FINALLY AWAKEN_

I looked around. Well as far as looking around could come, seeing as I couldn't actually see anything.

'What the heck?! Where am I? Who in the name of potatoes are you?! WHY CAN'T I EVEN SEE MYSELF?!'

_Peace friend. All questions have answers, and for all answers there are questions_

'Are you some kinda fortune cookie?'

_No. I am simply here t-_

'Cause that would be awesome! I mean talking to a fortune cookie! Not everyone gets to do that! And it would be nice to just for the experience you kno-'

_BE SILENT_

I snapped my mouth closed.

_Good. Cat I am here to warn you your friends are in grave danger! They need you now._

'Sorry my mother taught me not to talk to strangers!'

_I'm not a stranger. I am your conscience._

'Seriously! But you sound like a guy!'

_Yes I am, but that is beside the point. Your friends need you._

'If they need me than why am I wasting time listening to you ramble about absolutely nothing?'

**The kid's got a point! **

'Thanks! Who are you?'

**Um, well. Aw shucks I don't have a name do I?**

'Seriously? Can I name you then? I'm really awesome at picking names!'

**Heh, sure kid I wouldn't mind.**

'Cool I think it should be something profound yet dignified, maybe something Spanish?'

**Hm, Spanish huh? Sounds pretty goo-**

_WILL YOU FOCUS!_

'Geez touchy'

**I know chill would you.**

_THIS IS IMPORTANT! CAT'S TEAMMATES ARE IN DANGER! _

'No they're not'

_Yes they are. _

'Nope'

_YES THEY ARE IN GRAVE DANGER AND NEED YOUR HELP!_

'Nuh-uh'

Thunder clapped in the background.

_WOULD YOU JUST LISTEN! THEY NEED YOUR HELP!_

"Naw they don't. I don't know how well you know my friends Mr. Ominus voice but they're crazy. If they were attacked Apollo would probably chew the guys arms off, and Sapp isn't a pushover either. She'd probably kick them in the shins or something. So there is absolutely nothing to worry about!'

_KICKING A NINJA IN THE SHIN WILL NOT AFFECT THEM!_

'Hey you know what! Your rude! The said the same thing about Kyle Millson and you know what? IT STILL WORKED SO HA!'

_WILL YOU STOP CHANING THE SUBJECT_

**Chill man. We're all friends here.**

'Woah you have no idea how much you just sounded like Xigbar right there!'

**Really? Maybe I should spring for an eye patch. Aw but I don't have eyes.**

'So just say your wearing one. No one has to know'

**True very true.**

'Hey I know the perfect name for you!'

**What?**

'Bartholomew. He's this genie thing from a book I once read. Besides I love that name.

**Makes me sound old…**

'And you Mr. Moody will be Pam.'

_As in Pamela? But I'm a guy!_

'No, Pam as in Pissed and Moody. It's an acronym'

_Sigh_ _Why do I even bother. Look will just wake up and go kick some bad guy ass and save your friends._

'Must I?'

_YES._

'Fine, but your not going to do that fadey thing where everything blanks out and I slowly fade into reality. That always gives me headaches'

_TOO BAD._

'ICK I BLAME YOU FOR ANY HEADACHES I HAVE'

**Later kid.**

Then the voices started to fade away, and everything became fuzzy and blurry. Then came the colours brown and green. Ick I hate these things they always make me feel like I've been on a roller coaster with my head backward.

Oh hold on it's starting to clear. I'm starting to hear voices.

"You'll never take me alive!" Yes that's Sapp.

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. That would be the sound of metal impaling trees. Hmm probably kunai or shuriken or something.

"What the-?!" That would be the unknown voice of an unknown man who is probably attacking my friends. Maybe if I just lay here they won't notice me.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeewwwwlllllllllllllllllllll.

"What the heck was that?" That would've been my stomach Apollo. My back stabbing stomach that just has to be louder than a jackhammer. Why must my whole life be against me?

Okay you can do this. I quickly popped my eyes open and glanced left and right. All clear. They must have moved over. I rolled over and pushed off the ground so I was standing. I saw a few shuriken stuck in the trees to my left and some branches destroyed on my right.

I looked up at the tree closest. It was pretty tall and all the branches were practically up at the top. "Looks like I'll have to climb this the hard way." I muttered to myself. I started by trying to climb the traditional way. It didn't work very well. "AH! Tree Burn! OW!"

So I tried to climb the tree using some of the rope and a kunai in my weapons pouch. It turns out fishing wire is stronger and sharper than it looks. "AHHHHH BRANCH!" CRASH. "I'm okay…"

Then I tried to climb it by walking right up the side using my chakra. That worked pretty well, until I remembered half way up that I never learned how to do this in the first place and it was physically impossible for me. Then I became acquainted with a new friend. I like to call him Mud. "THANK YOU OH THANK YOU! YOU BEAUTIFUL SUBSTANCE OF THE EARTH!"

So after all that I decided to take a break. "W-why must all trees be s-so hard to CLIMB!" I wailed leaning against the tree catching my breath from my last failures. Unfortunately as I leaned back my head smacked into something hard and covered in leaves. "OW! Stupid low hanging branch!" Then it finally clicked together. I swung my head around so fast I smacked my face into another branch. "Ow MY EYE!" Once my vision returned.

I looked at the tree. It was the most glorious tree I had ever seen! There were so many low hanging branches I was practically sitting on them. I swear in that one moment a light shone down upon me and a fat lady sand somewhere because me troubles were over.

The trees around me were merely flashes of green as a leapt from branch to branch. "Okay I lost them but that's fine. If I keep going at this speed I can make up for lost time," I muttered. I was soooo getting to get flack for this!

'But it's not your fault,' a little devil appeared on my shoulder. 'They left you there! It's not your fault you were clumsy!' It cooed evilly.

'No!' A small little angel countered taking up the vacancy of my other shoulder. 'They're your friends! They would never leave you behind on purpose! They probably led the enemy away or got lost! Oh dear what if they're hurt! They need our help! They could bleed to death or fall or-' The little angel was cut off by the devil smacking her on the head with her own halo.

'LIES! If they were such great friends they wouldn't choked her in the first place!' The devil hissed.

"Will you both shut up! I've already had a tussle with my consciences must I fight with my inner good and bad self?" I huffed glancing towards them.

'Your right,' the devil agreed, 'we should leave. Good luck with that tree though!' She chirped and with that they both disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Huh what tree? There are a bunch of treeeesh!" My words were muffled as I collided face first into the trunk of a thick pine with my arms and legs ahead of me. "Oush," I mumbled out as I began to slide down the tree until I landed on the ground on my butt and fell back onto the hard ground.

I stared up at the sky. The clouds were very fluffy today. "Man now I know why Shikamaru never leaves that hill," I stretched out on the dirt and got comfy. "Maybe I should just take a nap right here." I mumbled as I allowed myself to start to drift off.

"Well, well, well. Looks like I've found a little mouse," a gruff voice interrupted my sleepy time! I turned by head up farther so I could see this disturber of the nap. I glanced up to see a man probably about the age of Kakashi which qualifies as old enough to be put out into pasture and shot in my books. Wait that's cows, never mind.

"So little girl what are you doing out here all by your lonesome." He smirked. I rolled my eyes, what a creep. I gave him a quick once over. He had a bit of a yellowish skin tone, his body was more lanky than built but I wouldn't doubt that he had ninja abilities. He had black hair slicked back into a ponytail, a pasty face and stupid cocky grin on his face. Yep, I knew his type. He was one of those guys that always seemed oily and probably couldn't get more greasy if you threw him into the deep fryer at MacDonalds. Ew.

"Sorry I don't talk to strangers," I said and then went back to glancing at the sky. At least I was until one certain creep had to block my view with his pasty face. "Well then why don't I introduce myself?" He questioned with that same smirk as if he thought he was the coolest thing around. Wait! What's that hanging off that loose hair from his ponytail. Was he…. Dripping? EW O.o! That is the grossest thing in the world! "You see my dear girl my name is Gurisu," he continued on. Oh no I think it's coming closer to me!

"I came out to the forest for a little walk." Uh oh it's coming closer. "And to my surprise I found you here." Closer. "You look pretty worn out maybe I can help you?" That's it I can't take it anymore! "I have a home that's not far from here maybe I could- UGH!" He was cut off by my foot connecting with his face. He was sent back a few yards and a kunai slide onto the ground next to him.

"Heh," he wiped his mouth, "your pretty good brat. It's almost a shame that I have to get rid of you." My eye twitched. "I MAY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING OR WHO YOU ARE! BUT YOU ARE THE MOST REPULSIVE DISGUSTING OILY PILSBURY DOUGH BOY I HAVE EVER SEEN!" I screeched right in his face.

He wiped spit off his greasy mug. "I already told you my name is Gurisu," he said, "and I have been sent her to get rid of-PHOO!" I cut him off again with my fist time this time. "Listen up bub and listen up good," I said darkly my bangs covering my eyes. "I don't care who you are Gas Station but I'm tired, I'm lost and all the trees in the world are out to get me. So I suggest you just leave me alone you freak." I hissed.

"Well unfortunately that's not gonna happen." He smirked as he took shuriken out of his pouch. I grinned creepily as he raced forward then I pulled one thing out of my pouch. "Huh?" He cocked a brow as continued forward. I turned the paper around. "WOAH!" He said as he dug his heels into the ground to stop himself. Too late.

* * *

BOOM. Birds scattered everywhere as the smoke rose up in the distance.

"What was that?!" Sapp exclaimed. Apollo looked over, "I think that might be where we should go. Come on before he comes back. He can't be far." Apollo said as they headed towards the smoke.

'HEEHEEHEEHEEHE!!!" Cat giggled as she spun around coughing up smoke before she fell to the ground. "Who's laughing now trees? HAHAHAHA!"

* * *

BWAHAHA! THE TREES ARE LISTENING! Yes I drove my own OC character to the brink of insanity. Oh well...

Just so you know **Gurisu is Grease translated into Japanese**. You people cane go crazy about it but I looked it up. It's one of those Japanese words that sounds like English but is spelt different.

So, **REVIEW OR MESSAGE** if you ever want another chapter!

Peace!

Neko


	10. Filler 1: Vday in July

Okay guys. First off thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate them because it keeps me motivated and makes me keep going (THROWS COOKIES TO ALL THE REVIEWERS)! But right now I'm a little stuck with some writer's block, so I made this crackilious filler for you so it wouldn't be days and days until the next chapter!

WARNING: This chapter does contain a bit of yaoi and other pairings that may disgust some people. This chapter is NOT to be taken seriously and to heart.

I will list the pairing before I write my little splurge about them okay? That way you can skip if you want too. IF you CAN! BWAHAHAHAHA. Ahem so ON WITH THE CRACK!

Disclaimer: I **DON'T** own no Naruto or Yogi Bear! Oh and no one was hurt in the making of this chapter, MUCH BWAHAHAHAHA! FROZEN GRAPES! I AM NOT THEIR CREATOR

* * *

Filler: Valentine's Day in July

AKA The Crackiest of the Crack Pairings!!!

Today in Konoha the bird's were singing and the bees were everywhere, because it was VALENTINE'S DAY! IN JULY! Why in July you ask? Because I'm a ninja!

Anyway let's start off with introducing myself, but you already know me! IT'S ME CAT! Here today to report the lovey-dovery-ness of our fellow ninja! Or as I like to call it "The Results of Love Potion C-12 and Alcohol." To order your own batch of Love Potion C-12 today call 1-800-LOVEPOTIONSRFUN that's 1-800-50837084067386! Love Potion is not recommended to be mixed with alcohol but it's fun when you do! Caution: Love Potion C-12 will sting eyes and open wounds and releases a stench of up to 15 yards.

So let's go check on our first couple shall we?

**SasukexChouji**

We now approach a field of flowers in a clearing in the forest. Let us take a look at the nature of love!

Chouji or Choujious-maximus was seated on the ground surrounded by a field of flowers and daisy chains. While he was half way through his chain of floral gayness a sreechy mating call was heard. "CHOUJI MY LOVE!" The Chouji turned his head immediately recognizing it as his mate, Sasukayus-gayus. Sasuke appeared from the edges of the forest carrying a picnic basket and a red blanket over his shoulder. Yogi Bear cannot be far behind. PICINIC BASKET! PICINIC BASKET!

Notice once Chouji's mate appears Chouji is on his feet in an instant and begins his run (cough jog cough) towards his mate returning the mating call. "SASUKE!" Insert dramatic running music here

"CHOUJI"

"SASUKE"

"CHOUJI!"

"SASUKEE!"

"CHOUJIII!"

Ah, the young couple at last is reunited and embraces, "SASUKE!" Chouji grabs his mate and smothers him in a hug, Sasuke can't breathe, "C-can't breathe." Chouji does not care, "I don't care! I'm never letting you go!"

"O-okay just l-loosen your g-gr-" CRACK. Sasuke is interrupted by the sound of his own spine being ruptured. "AH SASUKE MY LOVE!" A siren is heard and two men in pink uniforms and sunglasses appear with a stretcher. "The boy needs to be taken to the hospital! STAT!" Said one of the medics. "W-who are you?" Chouji asks. "We work at the Love Hospital, but you can call us The Cupids. He's going to have to come with us," one said pointing at Sasuke. "Not without me you aren't!" Chouji declares. "Fine but you'll have to ride in the back." "Okay" Chouji nodded.

The Love Hospital worker load Sasuke on the stretcher and carry him towards the road. Chouji follows. The firmly secure the stretcher to the wagon. "Toss him on!" And Chouji sits on the wagon with his love. "SASUKE NO!" The Cupids jump on their two person bicycle, turn on the siren on their helmets and pedal off.

Let's move on shall we? Next on our list of victims, I uh mean couples is…..

**ShinoxSakura**

We now head over to a bench placed remotely outside the academy. Some of you may remember it as where Sakura was going to first kiss "Sasuke," but today she goes to meet her new crush and current boyfriend. Aburame, Shino.

"Shino!" Our pink haired Kunoichi called going to meet her date. Sakuras-pinkas is skipping in a much Sasuke-like fashion with joy and love. Isn't that sweet….. For NOW BWAHAHAHA! Let's just watch shall we?

"Shino!" Sakura said at last reaching their meeting bench, she skips just as slow as Sasuke….. "I'm sorry I'm late but I was making this bento (A/N: lunch box) and I wanted it to be perfec-" Sakura is cut off by another prescence. "Oh Shino, you never said you were bringing a friend," she says coolly cocking an eyebrow. Shinous-bugous then turns to his girlfriend, "Oh Sakura, I didn't see you there."

"So Shino, who's this?" Sakuras-pinkas has now moved into an defensive position. She is preparing to attack. "Oh this is my friend Carmen," Shino explains. "Carmen? Uh huh, so why's she here?" Sakura searches for evidence before her onslaught. "Well Carmen and me were good friends but she moved away to pursue her career in modeling," Shino attempting to satisfy the girlfriend has merely worsened the scenario.

"Oh so she's a model huh?" Sakura has now moved into an offensive tone! Oh no everyone put on your bicycle helmets! This is going to get red, black and pink all over! "Well what about our date Shino?" She's gritting her teeth she attempts negotiation! "Oh well I figured we could just cancel, I mean we can go date at anytime but Carmen just came back to town." Shino has now attempted to fool Sakura with logic that lacks sense to a teenage girl. "Shino! You! YOU!" And Sakura attacks! She uses a traditional teenage girl-who-just-got-dumped attack! The bento sails through the air, and the box and all of its content smack Shino in the face drenching him in sticky rice, soy sauce and fish.

"IT'S OVER!" And with that Sakuras-pinkas makes her leave. Shino turns to his dear model friend Carmen. "You still love me?" He asks. Carmen the Ladybug flies away.

Poor, poor Shino, but girls like Sakura don't like it when you cheat with another species. So who to go check in on next…. Oh wait I'm getting something! It has just been reported that Sapp and Apollo have decided to participate in this V-day Spirit! Well well welly well well! Let's go check on them shall we?

To **SappxNeji**

We are now in the deep woods were I am sure many a ninja do their training. Let us look for my friend and Emo Clone #308. Oh I think I see them! There's Sapp and it looks like she's hugging …..

"I LOVE YOU TREE!" A tree? Hmm it's an elm though. Good choice but a little old. Oh what's this it appears the Neji has arrived at last! Let's see he appears to be walking over to Sapp, he taps her on the shoulder. He seems to be asking her something I think it's, "Will you go out with me? Destiny has proclaimed us a couple." That's right mad lip reading skills! Sapp says no and shakes her head, "I love this tree not you! Besides your creepy!" Oh! Burn! Oh look I think Neji might explode from the rejection!

It looks like its **NejixSappxTree**

LOVE TRIANGLE!!! OH NO! Neji just Gentle Fisted the tree into the next chapter!!! Over there….

"So, you now understand what's going on?" He asked. Then suddenly out of nowhere a tree crashed right beside them with the force of a army of Cats on steroids. "Woah is that part of your power too?" Cat asked. "Um, no," he sweatdropped. "TREE!"

WAIT! Your not supposed to read that yet! Uh just forget you saw that!

Hey look! Sapp is beating Neji senseless! Oh nice right hook! Oh no he blocked! What now? Will she give up? NO! OH THAT'S GOTTA HURT! I have a good feeling Neji won't be having children in the future, or walking….. Uh let's just leave now….

So yeah let's move onto someone else how about…..?

"Who?"

Hold on.

"Who?"

Give me a second.

"Who?"

WILL YOU BE PATIENT?!! What? What do you mean not you?

"Who? Who?"

OH! I get it now! On that branch over there! It is the great and majestic owl! One of the birds of prey of the order of Strigiformes, and other complex and large words. Hm what's this? Yet another ninja enters the forest. Oh look it's Kiba, is he training or looking for someone? Let's look. Oh he's stopped walking. He's staring at the owl. It stares back. He stares. It stares. He stares.

"Who?" The owl cooes.

"Kiba," Kiba replies.

"Who?"

"Kiba"

"Who?"

"Kiba"

"Who?"

"Kiba."

Uh I think this is supposed to be **KibaxOwl**? Really I have no idea now….

"Who?"

"Kiba"

"Who?"

"I love you"

"Who?"

"You"

"Who?"

Okay let's just leave before we something we might regret……

Oh look over here through these bushes and past these trees we find….. clearing full of destroyed trees and Lee! Our green jumpsuit wearing amigo! Let's have a listen in shall we?

"You know I've never felt tish way before hic" Lee seems to be drunk that would explain how this clearing got made in the first place .

"Exchept for Sakura-shan but she just doesn't understand noch?" Wow I have no idea who he's talking to. His back's to me! Well I suppose there is only one way to find out!

"I even told her I would protect her foreversh! FOREVERSH! Amch I aren't attractive? I mean I'm pretty right?" Leeaus-greenaus now proceeds to do that weird noodley dance thing he does. He continues to spill his guts to…. A squirrel? He's been talking to a squirrel? That poor defenseless squirrel! This must be….

**Drunken LeexSquirrel**

I must save that poor squirrel! FIRE! "OSH!" Alright! Dead on! Lee has been hit. Uh oh I think I may have aggravated it…. "YOSH! AN ENEMEY! I MUST ATTACH! FOR GAISH! SENKAI!"

I have no idea what he's saying anymore…. --. Anyway I think we had better run before. "YOSH! THERE YOU ARE!" AHHHH! HE SAW ME! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! "I WILSH ATTAF YOUSH! HYAA-" Oh my gosh! He just ran into a tree! Oh save my Jiff peanut butter! This tree just SAVED MY LIFE!

I think finally the trees aren't out to get me! Just this once! THANK YOU TREE! OH THANK YOU!

"Mommy what is that lady doing?" Eh?

"Now don't stare honey! Just keep walking!" Oops, eh heh forgot I was in public…..

Well uh let's keep exploring… heh heh…. So next on my hitlist…. I mean list of recently spotted love birds is………..

In a store not too far away is…..

"Um Teacher?"

**InoxJiraiya**

"D-does this dress need to be this short ?" Ino is currently trying on a dress. But for the sake of your imagination let's call it a tablecloth or a large napkin…..

"You want to beat Sakura right?" He asks. "Well yes but-"

"THEN TRUST ME! I am a legendary sannin after all. HA HA HA!"

"Uh okay"

"Now go run laps!"

"Uh but how? This skirt is real short…and…. the wind"

"Oh don't worry I'll watch!"

"Oh goo- WHAT!"

"Yes now come here..

SORRY WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

Hello there all Cat's viewers. Unfortunately the pervertedness of Jiraiya was too much for Cat to handle. She is now over on the couch attempting to recover.

**Cat**: Jiraiya twitch TOO MUCH spasm Can. Not. Go. On.

Yes so, unfortunately too many late nights, early morning and salted popsicles have finally affected her mind. So now that she is unable to continue the rest of this chapter we will have to stop.

No this does not mean the story is over.

No this does not mean there will be no recent chapters.

Just review and let her recover capiche?

And now a message about frozen grapes.

::--::

FROZEN GRAPES! FROZEN GRAPES! THE TASTY TREAT!

FROZEN GRAPES! FROZEN GRAPES! WE LOVE TO EAT!

Akamaru: THEY'RE FREEEEEEEEEEZALICIOUS! ARF!

Everyone: HE CAN TALK?!!!!

Kiba: BARK! BARK! –pants-

The End.

Lol XD I have no idea what I'm doing!!

* * *

So ya that was the first filler. I really have no idea what was happening there. So you tell me if it's funny cuz I'm not so sure. I really don't think of myself as funny…. 

So ya REVIEWS FOR UPDATE!

OH AND! It's Contest time! WE HAVE REACHED 50 REVIEWS! SO SUBMIT YOUR REQUESTS PEOPLES!!! Or if you have none then I really don't know what I'll do….

So yeah! REVIEWS! I NEED 'EM!!

PLEASE AND THANKS!

PEACE!

-Neko


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